Ultimate bodges

[triple tango]

C'mon name those terrible bodges.
Heres some of mine from the dim & distant past;

I sold an Audi & the radio didnt work but the cassette did. So I recorded "Radio 1" on my home hi-fi & left the tape playing in the car. All went well even though I recorded the breakfast show & sold the car in the evening.

I sold a very smokey, worn out Sierra. Before the guy test drove it I broke the interior mirror off so he couldnt see the smoke.

I had a Transit van with a very noisy diff, 2 bags of sawdust failed to quieten it. So I put 4 bales of straw in the back to deaden the sound, explaining I was collecting them for my horse !

The terminally smokey & oily Maestro had its bonnet cable "broken" just before it went through the auction.

Another with a very noisy crank suddenly "developed" a severe exhaust blow which hid the knocking nicely.

[merlind100]

The radio bodge is a work of genius

[Jod Clark]

Part-exchanged a Rover 416 with a blown head gasket for an Alfa 156 once. The Rover had the pipes to the expansion bottle jammed solid with nuts and bolts to stop the oily water getting into the header tank. We cleaned the header tank out with washing up liquid and refilled it with water and some old Blue Caracao to make it look the part. Got £1850 part exchange for the Rover. Minty.

[DavePoth]

Part-exchanged a Rover 416 with a blown head gasket for an Alfa 156 once. The Rover had the pipes to the expansion bottle jammed solid with nuts and bolts to stop the oily water getting into the header tank. We cleaned the header tank out with washing up liquid and refilled it with water and some old Blue Caracao to make it look the part. Got £1850 part exchange for the Rover. Minty.

And 5 miles down the road when it blows up, at least the new owner has a nice cocktail to drink.

[trackerjack]

Swopped a Triumph tiger 100 for a BSA A7 and I had stuck the broken edge of the Triumphs head down with Araldite.

[Spunkymonkey]

Never bodged to sell on (my cars tend to be with me till they die) but a few that spring to mind are:

Daihatsu Charmant, bought v cheap with a cracked head. Couldn't get a head so had it welded but the place that did it left a small pit right under one of the head gasket sealing rings. Four gasket replacements later, filled the pit with araldite - problem cured.

Renault 14 that punched a rear shock through the top mount (no rot just old and brittle metal). Two 1/8 inch plates (one inside and one outside) with the shock bolted through them sorted that one.

Same car with rocker noise from a blocked oil hole. Because of the layout, couldn't get the rocker shaft out with engine in car. Until I drilled a 3/4 inch hole in the inner wing so it'd slide out through the wheelarch. Fitted a grommet on replacement.

Montego countryman that was giving clutch problems. The release bearing was trying very hard to collapse and it got to the point where the cable couldn't adjust any more. Stuck a ring spanner between the cable outer and the adjuster in the bulkhead gave a few more miles of gear changing. By the time I did the bearing it was welded to the cover and spinning on its shaft. Re-used the cover after knocking it off

[Purplebargeken]

Remind me NEVER to buy a car from you guys. You'll all burn in automotive hell and be prodded with araldited spark plugs for your transgressions.

Taping the radio...... Bodge of the Year material IMHO

[tinweevil]

Can't claim any myself but my great grandfather made pianos for a living so was fairly useful with a bit of timber. Thus when a piston broke he made one out of wood that lasted long enough to get the car sold at auction.

[edit]
That's not to say I don't bodge, I just can't recall any worthy of mention.

[DoloWIGHTY]

Not me (honest), friend had a XJ6 that the oil light stayed on at low revs, took the bulb out in attempt to blow it, ran loads of volts and amps through it via various devices - all the damn thing would do was glow brighter and brighter.

In the end he wired to the mains - 240v AC.


Blew the house fuse!

Bloody bulb still shone so he stamped on it (out of frustration) put it's remains back in the car and it wasn't even questioned by the next owner who was an American Pro Basket ball Player and was probably the tallest man I have ever seen!!

[Jod Clark]

Connecting bulbs to an arc welder seems to dispatch them reasonably promptly.

[DoloWIGHTY]

Connecting bulbs to an arc welder seems to dispatch them reasonably promptly.

Sounds as though that comes from experience Jod!

[Jod Clark]

It seems to have become my life's work, finding new and exciting ways to break stuff. Makes a change from mending things.

[Lewis]

[Jod Clark]

I'd love a set of lightweight wooden racing pistons

[sprint95m]

A friend of mine was fitting a replacement petrol ohv engine to a Sherpa when I happened to arrive in time to help line it up to the gearbox. He bolted it all up and then realised that the starter could not fit......to which he announced a starter was "an optional extra, no longer required"! By towing it, he got the Sherpa running, drove home, left it running and got his father to buy it (well it was a good runner) before switching it off.

I once bought a Renault 19 that only had one wheel trim fitted (the other three were in the boot). The reason that trim was fitted was to hide the two broken wheel studs....and that was the work of a professional!