The Triumph Dolomite Club - Discussion Forum

The Number One Club for owners of Triumph's range of small saloons from the 1960s and 1970s.
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 Post subject: Time to talk
PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2016 9:16 pm 
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Location: The Old Asylum
You've probably noticed it's been quite some time since I've provided any kind of update on my project, I did look the other day and it has been a really long time. A lot has happened over the last couple of years and one thing in particular has made life and my project progress particularly difficult.

I'm talking about depression. That thing that a lot of people just don't get or think it's a made up thing. Well as someone who has suffered on and off for 18 years I can tell you it really does exist and it is really not nice. Struggling to get through the day, zero motivation to do anything and generally being miserable. I've always been able to keep my illness to myself until late last year when matters reached a point that I just couldn't keep things to myself any more. I decided that enough was enough and I needed to start being more open with my friends and family.

I'm soooooo much better than I was just 4 months ago. I've left a truly awful job, found a much more rewarding and interesting one, I'm getting better at actually doing things, important things and fun things and my next goal is to start work on my project again. I took quite a big step at the weekend and I pushed it out of the garage, peeled back the cover and fitted the front seats which have been in the way for years. This first bit of work for ages felt really good. I hope to be able to do some more work very soon and start posting some progress very soon.

As well as actually feeling a little better and doing some things I've also come to realise that I am far from being alone and I have met and spoken to some really interesting people who have or are also having problems. I'm not sure why I never discussed things before but I would urge anyone who might be in a similar situation to do so as it can be very helpful.

So there you go, that's why I've been rather quiet for some time, just in case you wondered.

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Mark

1961 Chevrolet Corvair Greenbrier Sportswagon
1980 Dolomite Sprint project using brand new shell
2009 Mazda MX5 2.0 Sport
2018 Infiniti Q30


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 Post subject: Re: Time to talk
PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2016 9:36 pm 
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Glad to hear your on the up, I have memories of two years, where I did not step foot outdoors, not pleasant and I was not worth talking to.

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On the motorway no one can hear me sing!
Construed as a public service, self preservation in reality.


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 Post subject: Re: Time to talk
PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2016 9:47 pm 
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Location: Shetland / here & there
Depression is still in this day and age a subject that is not discussed openly as much as it should and could be, which I've always found a bit strange really, for in my experience most people seem like to overshare about all manner of ailments, but not ones of the mind. Still, attitudes are slowly changing, and posts like yours are helping that to happen.

Fair enough, I don't know you other than having read a few posts on this forum, but that doesn't stop me feeling empathy so I'm still really pleased that you are starting to feel better and recovering, and have done things to break the cycle like getting a new job, something I found helps hugely.

Look forward to reading you more regular posts in the future!

Raf.

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Current fleet: '75 Sprint, '73 1850, Daihatsu Fourtrak, Honda CG125, Yamaha Fazer 600, Shetland 570 (yes it's a boat!)

Past fleet: Triumph 2000, Lancia Beta Coupe, BL Mini Clubman, Austin Metro, Vauxhall Cavalier MK1 & MK2, Renault 18 D, Rover 216 GSI, Honda Accord (most expensive car purchase, hated, made out of magnetic metal as only car I've ever been crashed into...4 times), BMW 318, Golf GTi MK3 16v x 3


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 Post subject: Re: Time to talk
PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2016 11:17 pm 
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Been there, still get the odd down day.
Changing jobs was the main thing for me - you don't realise how much a dreadful job grinds you down until you leave!
You have my sympathies - chin up, and keep plugging on.


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 Post subject: Re: Time to talk
PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 12:07 pm 
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Oh how I understand your pain.
We lost our son (that's him in my avatar) five and a half years ago when being depressed he took his own life.
It is far more serious an issue than many think.
Just try and stay with positive thoughts and people and a belief that though its bad sometimes it will surely get better.
So pleased that you are feeling better.

Jon

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The lunatic is out................heres Jonny!


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 Post subject: Re: Time to talk
PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 1:02 pm 
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Mark, I never knew you were suffering from depression. It explains your recent lack of progress. Glad to know you're on the up. Opening up was probably the single best thing you could've done. I'm fortunate that I don't suffer from it. We all get a bit down sometimes but we just have to get on with it. I had a horrible job for the best part of 18 years and suffered at the hands of one particular boss for the first 13 of those years who was a bully and thought he was always right (this was back in my younger days). I kept on telling myself "don't let the b*st*rd grind you down" which got me through a lot of sh*t back then. I also realized that if something isn't life-threatening, it can't be all that bad. Getting back to your restoration is a good therapy. Even the smallest job is one step closer to completion of the project and then you can ENJOY the fruits of your labour.

Keep on going.

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Toledo Man

West Yorkshire Area Organiser & forum moderator
Meetings take place on the first Wednesday of the month at 8.00pm at The Old Brickworks, Wakefield Road, Drighlington, Bradford, BD11 1EA

1972 Dolomite 1850 auto (NYE 751L - Now for sale)
2003 Volvo XC90 D5 SE (PX53 OVZ - The daily driver)
2009 Mercedes-Benz W204 C200 CDI Sport (BJ58 NCV - The 2nd car)
1991 Toyota Celica GT (J481 ONB - another project car)
Former stable of SAY 414M (1974 Toledo), GRH 244D (1966 1300fwd), CDB 324L (1973 1500fwd), GGN 573J (1971 1500fwd), DCP 625S (1977 Dolomite 1300) & LCG 367N (1975 Dolomite Sprint) plus 5 Acclaims and that's just the Triumphs!

Check my blog at http://triumphtoledo.blogspot.com
My YouTube Channel with a bit of Dolomite content.

"There is only one way to avoid criticsm: Do nothing, say nothing and BE nothing." Aristotle


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 Post subject: Re: Time to talk
PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 1:26 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 31, 2013 2:22 pm
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Mark

I feel for you and know how people, however well meaning, do not get this illness and what happens to sufferers. My wife died in 1990 and left me with a young family. She started with post natal depression which developed into what was then called manic depression now Bi-polar. The well wishes invariably get it wrong and can do more harm than good without realising it and I suspect you have had this experience. Sadly my youngest son has inherited the illness and suffers badly from it.

Depression is a vile thing and so debilitating, but as you are finding, once it starts lifting and you can feel more positive, you grow and it recedes. It will keep getting better, you may slip back a little on occasion, but keep those positive vibes going and it can only improve.

Bob


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 Post subject: Re: Time to talk
PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 6:23 pm 
Good luck with it Mark.
I hope the Dolly progressing can provides some moments of distraction and happiness.


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 Post subject: Re: Time to talk
PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 7:54 am 
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Well done Mark, youve made a big step in talking about it. Youre a nice bloke and deserve to be happy, so keep it up mate :thumbsup:

Cheers

Tony

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 Post subject: Re: Time to talk
PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 7:09 pm 
[Deleted by user.]


Last edited by YoungManGoneWest on Sun Mar 06, 2016 8:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Time to talk
PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 9:33 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 14, 2010 1:40 pm
Posts: 436
Location: rotherham south yorkshire
Brave man for talking about it, well done, i read this post a few days ago and been thinking about it since i myself suffer from it like yourself but never find it easy to talk about it, its a horrible thing that you just cant seem to shake off, i go through the same problems with my projects really find it hard at times to get the motivation to start on anything then before you know it the day has gone, but on the times i manage to kick myself up the arse and get on with something it does become very therapeutic.
Part of my problem i admit myself is too many projects but at the same time not wanting to part with any but i made progress by recently selling one of my sprints to a mate who has been asking for me to sell for ages, must admit its lifted a weight from me and now im considering selling my blue 2000 , slow steps but its working for me at the moment.
i hope that when the better weather comes along that both you and i and anyone else on here will feel more like putting the effort to moving forward with our projects, good luck Mark :bluewave:

_________________
1973 yellow Sprint L reg
1979 1500 SE T reg
1979 1500 SE V reg
1980 vermillion 1500hl W reg
1975 green 1500tc auto P reg
1971 wedgewood blue 2000 auto mk2 J reg
1979 Sandglow 1500HL auto V reg
1972 valencia blue Toledo 2 dr K reg
1973 Brown Toledo 2 dr L reg
1973 Green Toledo 2 dr L reg
1977 white Datsun 100a f2 S reg
1983 White Toyota Tercel 4x4
1987 Brown Toyota Tercel 4x4
1988 Blue Toyota Tercel 4x4
1999 Toyota Corolla vvti est
2005 Ford ranger thunder XLT
because one triumph just isnt enough


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 Post subject: Re: Time to talk
PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 10:57 am 
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Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2006 9:45 pm
Posts: 11179
Location: Middlesex
The trick with depression - well its not really a trick....is to find the right clinician.

Some GP's are on the ball and some are not. Don't settle for the latter. You need a full range of blood tests and some dietary changes
can also work wonders.

The brain is seriously complex, but there have been some real improvements in medication in recent years. Try and clue in to some of
those and combine whatever your clinician says with a healthy dose of your own research.

On the simplistic side and this is also pretty obvious - cold weather and lack of sunlight and the resultant vitamin D deficiency really
do make a big difference so a vitamin D supplement can really help.

You are NOT alone.

Jonners

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Note from Admin: sadly Jon passed away in February 2018 but his humour and wealth of knowledge will be fondly remembered by all. RIP Jonners.


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 Post subject: Re: Time to talk
PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 11:33 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 14, 2010 1:40 pm
Posts: 436
Location: rotherham south yorkshire
Quote:
The trick with depression - well its not really a trick....is to find the right clinician.

Some GP's are on the ball and some are not. Don't settle for the latter. You need a full range of blood tests and some dietary changes
can also work wonders.

The brain is seriously complex, but there have been some real improvements in medication in recent years. Try and clue in to some of
those and combine whatever your clinician says with a healthy dose of your own research.

On the simplistic side and this is also pretty obvious - cold weather and lack of sunlight and the resultant vitamin D deficiency really
do make a big difference so a vitamin D supplement can really help.

You are NOT alone.

Jonners
Yeah Jon re the latter part of what you say, im on the vitamin D and have had S.A.D.S. for 10+ years, its funny how every year when the summer has come to an end i look forward to the shortest day of the year because i know once there things do gradually look better.

_________________
1973 yellow Sprint L reg
1979 1500 SE T reg
1979 1500 SE V reg
1980 vermillion 1500hl W reg
1975 green 1500tc auto P reg
1971 wedgewood blue 2000 auto mk2 J reg
1979 Sandglow 1500HL auto V reg
1972 valencia blue Toledo 2 dr K reg
1973 Brown Toledo 2 dr L reg
1973 Green Toledo 2 dr L reg
1977 white Datsun 100a f2 S reg
1983 White Toyota Tercel 4x4
1987 Brown Toyota Tercel 4x4
1988 Blue Toyota Tercel 4x4
1999 Toyota Corolla vvti est
2005 Ford ranger thunder XLT
because one triumph just isnt enough


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 Post subject: Re: Time to talk
PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 9:22 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 10, 2015 8:20 pm
Posts: 1293
Location: Shetland / here & there
Quote:
Yeah Jon re the latter part of what you say, im on the vitamin D and have had S.A.D.S. for 10+ years, its funny how every year when the summer has come to an end i look forward to the shortest day of the year because i know once there things do gradually look better.
As I glance to the side of the desk where my GoLite light box lives (mimics a spring sky apparently) at this time of the year, I can only nod in vigorous agreement with that sentiment.

_________________
Current fleet: '75 Sprint, '73 1850, Daihatsu Fourtrak, Honda CG125, Yamaha Fazer 600, Shetland 570 (yes it's a boat!)

Past fleet: Triumph 2000, Lancia Beta Coupe, BL Mini Clubman, Austin Metro, Vauxhall Cavalier MK1 & MK2, Renault 18 D, Rover 216 GSI, Honda Accord (most expensive car purchase, hated, made out of magnetic metal as only car I've ever been crashed into...4 times), BMW 318, Golf GTi MK3 16v x 3


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 Post subject: Re: Time to talk
PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 11:34 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2016 9:00 pm
Posts: 1014
Mark, well done for opening up about this.
I always think that if you can recognise a problem then it's a big help.
I have a very young relative whose life is blighted intermittently by deep depression amongst other things, but they always think they're 'cured' when on a good spell.
I hope they can get through it each time.


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