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Funny Reviews
http://forum.triumphdolomite.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=32469		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  GTS290N [ Tue Apr 11, 2017 8:23 am ]
Post subject:  Funny Reviews
Looking around for rat/mouse poison as a preventative measure in my new lock-up and came across this review on Screwfix:

Plumbing/Heating Engineer Reviewer
Would you recommend this product? Yes
Overall Rating
5 out of 5
Value
5 out of 5
Features
5 out of 5
Performance
5 out of 5
Reliability
5 out of 5
Fast and Effective
10 Dec 2016
By Mobby Wakefield
" I tried this product as a humane way to rid myself of a rat in the garage, as my wife threatened to put one of her roast dinners in there. I couldn't bear the thought of another living creature having to suffer like we do every Sunday. "
Author:  triumphdolomiteuk [ Tue Apr 11, 2017 10:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Funny Reviews
People who deliberately put down rat poison must have rocks in their heads. The poison doesn't work instantly, it takes time to kill the rat, mouse, bird, toddler, cat or dog which eats it. If another creature such as a cat or dog eats the poisoned rat or mouse, it will also suffer a similarly lingering and painful death. Rats and mice only take up residence near to a food source. Remove the food source and the problem goes away. It's not rocket science.
Author:  Toledo Man [ Tue Apr 11, 2017 12:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Funny Reviews
The Screwfix link is HERE

THIS one is more humane. We had a mouse infestation on our previous house and the cat we had at the time was a hopeless mouser so we used a traditional mousetrap which worked fine.
Author:  Galileo [ Tue Apr 11, 2017 1:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Funny Reviews
Quote:
Looking around for rat/mouse poison as a preventative measure in my new lock-up and came across this review on Screwfix:


" I tried this product as a humane way to rid myself of a rat in the garage, as my wife threatened to put one of her roast dinners in there. I couldn't bear the thought of another living creature having to suffer like we do every Sunday. "
:lol: Good spot!

(I'll let others miss the point of your post! :wink: )
Author:  GTS290N [ Tue Apr 11, 2017 4:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Funny Reviews
Well if we want to play games, this is from the Screwfix website Q&A:
"it is a poison so it is designed to kill and it doesn't differentiate between species. However it's effects depend on the size of the species in question and also the dose ingested. The active ingredient in this bait is Diffenacoum, a relatively low toxicity Second Generation Anticoagulant Rodenticide. Generally speaking the average amount required to kill a rat is 9mg / kilo of rat, whilst for mice, it is 4mg / kilo of mouse. For context, for dogs it is 1000mg / kilo, (ie, about a 100 times the amount needed to kill a rat) whilst for cats, its 2000mg / kilo. (ie, about a 200 times the amount needed to kill a rat). You can use this bait in conjunction with a mouse or rat bait station thus alleviating the chance of accidental ingestion"

So kill vermin, yes, do I care how they vermin dies, no, unlikely to kill dogs and toddlers even if ingested directly never mind from a mouse or rat that's crawled away to die, will it kill cats, who cares.

More games: I did a quick Google on children being killed by THIS TYPE of poison, nothing in the UK.
Strange really, that a place like screwfix is allowed to sell such a deadly child and pet killing toxin over the counter.

And why is it OK for another vermin, cats, to kill mice after after playing with them until they die of a heart attack? Is that humane?

OK, bored now, I must keep reminding myself not to post in this sub-forum. 10 posts in this forum in 5 days, it's not Facebook that's killing it.
Author:  soe8m [ Tue Apr 11, 2017 5:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Funny Reviews
The poison I like is Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy. Not a natural but forgiven this time.

Jeroen
Author:  matt of the vivas [ Tue Apr 11, 2017 5:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Funny Reviews
Quote:
will it kill cats, who cares.
Thats a real cuntish attitude. :evil:
Author:  Galileo [ Tue Apr 11, 2017 9:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Funny Reviews
Cat lover triggered!

One of my work colleagues is the most law abiding uber religious person that wouldn't step on an ant, hates cats with a passion though, something to do with the entire streets worth of moggies poohing in his vegetable plot I gather, personally, I don't mind them if their owners keep them under control.
Author:  Galileo [ Tue Apr 11, 2017 9:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Funny Reviews
PS. As to the forum or Facebook, that debate has been done to its death. So yeah, it can get a bit sanctimonious over here on the forum, but the trouble with the Facebook group is that most of them couldn't even spell sanctimonious, m8, innit.
Author:  Carledo [ Tue Apr 11, 2017 9:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Funny Reviews
Quote:
Cat lover triggered!

One of my work colleagues is the most law abiding uber religious person that wouldn't step on an ant, hates cats with a passion though, something to do with the entire streets worth of moggies poohing in his vegetable plot I gather, personally, I don't mind them if their owners keep them under control.
I too am a cat person, though I will not resort to obscenity to defend it.

I gather that you are not or you would not suggest that a cat be kept under control! You do not control a cat, the cat controls you!

Well known Sci fi author Robert Heinlein said "Women and cats will do as they please - and men and dogs should get used to it!"

Steve
Author:  Galileo [ Tue Apr 11, 2017 10:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Funny Reviews
Yup, and I feed, water, clear litter trays and play with next doors cat Biscuit and Cincin the Black she devil with a wonky eye when they go off on holiday for a weekend or a week. When one of the little darlings started to come into my garden to dig up my plants and leave little surprise packages for me, I told next door who bought me a cat away device, so they kept their cats under control as far as I'm concerned.

The point to not overlook is that this was a humorous post that made me laugh until it was gatecrashed by party poopers and became a downer instead, which to be honest Steve is quite disappointing.
Author:  Carledo [ Tue Apr 11, 2017 11:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Funny Reviews
Quote:

The point to not overlook is that this was a humorous post that made me laugh until it was gatecrashed by party poopers and became a downer instead, which to be honest Steve is quite disappointing.
You're not wrong there!

We have dogs on both sides so our cats don't wander much! But we still get left the odd "present" in the shape of dead birds and small rodents.
The only rats in our house are in the freezer, SWMBO feeds them to her Python!

Steve
Author:  triumphdolomiteuk [ Wed Apr 12, 2017 6:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Funny Reviews
Quote:
The point to not overlook is that this was a humorous post that made me laugh until it was gatecrashed by party poopers and became a downer instead, which to be honest Steve is quite disappointing.
On the contrary, the point not to be overlooked is that some people find humour in animal cruelty, whilst others do not. Simple as that.
Author:  Galileo [ Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Funny Reviews
Well that's put me in my place hasn't it? Enjoy your forum, you can happily answer yourself all day long.
Author:  Karlos [ Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Funny Reviews
I had a cat with one eye, until I realised it walked everywhere backwards.

That's the only worthy comment I can think of.
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