The Triumph Dolomite Club - Discussion Forum

The Number One Club for owners of Triumph's range of small saloons from the 1960s and 1970s.
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 Post subject: New Salesman
PostPosted: Fri Oct 23, 2020 12:15 pm 
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Future Club member hopefully!
Future Club member hopefully!

Joined: Fri May 31, 2013 1:22 pm
Posts: 369
A young man moves to a new town and goes searching for a job. He goes into a department store and asks if there are any vacancies.

The manager asks, "Do you have any sales experience?"

He says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home".

Well, the manager liked the young man, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you do but let me give you a bit of advice. If a customer comes looking, say, for toothpaste, you might suggest for him a toothbrush, or shaving cream etc. You get the idea?"

"Of course," the young man said. His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the manager came down. "How many sales did you make today?

The young man says, "One"

The manager groans, "Just one? Our salespeople average 20 or 30 sales/day. How much was the sale for?"

He says, "£101,237.64."

The manager exclaims, "What? £101,237.64? What did you sell him?"

"First I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Pajero Sports."

The manager says "You mean a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?!"

"No, no, no, he came in here to buy a box of Tampax for his wife and I say since your weekend's already screwed up you might as well go fishing."


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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2020 11:22 am 
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TDC Cheshire Area Organiser

Joined: Wed May 17, 2017 5:28 pm
Posts: 1210
Location: NANTWICH.
My wife’s just said she can’t take any more of my laziness.

As soon as my mum comes round to pack my bags, I’m leaving.

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NOW A CLUB MEMBER 2017057 :bluewave:


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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2020 3:16 pm 
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TDC Cheshire Area Organiser

Joined: Wed May 17, 2017 5:28 pm
Posts: 1210
Location: NANTWICH.
As we can't go Trick or Treating tomorrow my wife told me to get each of our young Daughters a big bag of Pick 'n' Mix from Wilko. Why they'd want an assortment of nuts, bolts, washers, screws and hooks I have no idea but she thinks it'll make them happy.

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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted: Mon Nov 02, 2020 10:03 am 
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TDC Cheshire Area Organiser

Joined: Wed May 17, 2017 5:28 pm
Posts: 1210
Location: NANTWICH.
I bought fifty boxes of Oxo and bovril cubes today.
Might as well stockpile like everyone else.

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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted: Thu Nov 05, 2020 10:39 am 
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TDC Cheshire Area Organiser

Joined: Wed May 17, 2017 5:28 pm
Posts: 1210
Location: NANTWICH.
Just been offered a job as a Noise Pollution Officer...

But I had to turn it down.

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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2020 10:13 am 
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TDC Cheshire Area Organiser

Joined: Wed May 17, 2017 5:28 pm
Posts: 1210
Location: NANTWICH.
Can’t believe I got fired on my very first day as a signwirter.

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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2020 9:02 pm 
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TDC Shropshire Area Organiser

Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2011 4:12 pm
Posts: 5898
Location: Highley, Shropshire
Quote:
Can’t believe I got fired on my very first day as a signwirter.
I got fired my first day as a tattoo artist for the same reseon!

Steve

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2 door '73 Toledo with Vauxhall Carlton 2.0 8v engine OWF 797M (The Carledo)
'78 Sprint Auto with Vauxhall Omega 2.2 16v engine EGP 247T (The Dolomega)
'72 Triumph 1500FWD in Slate Grey

Maverick Triumph, Servicing, Repairs, Electrical, Recomissioning, MOT prep, Trackerjack brake fitting service.
Apprentice served Triumph Specialist for 50 years. PM for more info or quotes.


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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted: Wed Nov 11, 2020 7:23 am 
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Future Club member hopefully!
Future Club member hopefully!
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2011 12:13 am
Posts: 2878
Location: The continent
Three men walked into a pub. Those were the days..

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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 1:27 pm 
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TDC Cheshire Area Organiser

Joined: Wed May 17, 2017 5:28 pm
Posts: 1210
Location: NANTWICH.
I won a ticket to a celebrity livestock auction not long ago, anyway I bought a lovely little lamb as a pet for my daughter. As I was looking around with it under my arm I couldn't believe I saw Boris Johnson talking to Joaquin Phoenix, turned out to be quite sociable chaps so I pushed my luck and asked for a picture to which they agreed. I couldn't believe it, there I was, clown to the left of me, joker to the right, there I was stuck in the middle with ewe.

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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2020 1:17 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 17, 2017 5:28 pm
Posts: 1210
Location: NANTWICH.
BBC: Instead of culling or changing anything that might slightly offend anyone, why not cull the thing that offends everyone?

The licence.

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