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| JOKE OF THE DAY http://forum.triumphdolomite.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=35452 |
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| Author: | RobSun [ Fri Oct 23, 2020 1:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | New Salesman |
A young man moves to a new town and goes searching for a job. He goes into a department store and asks if there are any vacancies. The manager asks, "Do you have any sales experience?" He says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home". Well, the manager liked the young man, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you do but let me give you a bit of advice. If a customer comes looking, say, for toothpaste, you might suggest for him a toothbrush, or shaving cream etc. You get the idea?" "Of course," the young man said. His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down. "How many sales did you make today? The young man says, "One" The manager groans, "Just one? Our salespeople average 20 or 30 sales/day. How much was the sale for?" He says, "£101,237.64." The manager exclaims, "What? £101,237.64? What did you sell him?" "First I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Pajero Sports." The manager says "You mean a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?!" "No, no, no, he came in here to buy a box of Tampax for his wife and I say since your weekend's already screwed up you might as well go fishing." |
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| Author: | dollyman [ Thu Oct 29, 2020 11:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: JOKE OF THE DAY |
My wife’s just said she can’t take any more of my laziness. As soon as my mum comes round to pack my bags, I’m leaving. |
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| Author: | dollyman [ Fri Oct 30, 2020 3:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: JOKE OF THE DAY |
As we can't go Trick or Treating tomorrow my wife told me to get each of our young Daughters a big bag of Pick 'n' Mix from Wilko. Why they'd want an assortment of nuts, bolts, washers, screws and hooks I have no idea but she thinks it'll make them happy. |
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| Author: | dollyman [ Mon Nov 02, 2020 10:03 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: JOKE OF THE DAY |
I bought fifty boxes of Oxo and bovril cubes today. Might as well stockpile like everyone else. |
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| Author: | dollyman [ Thu Nov 05, 2020 10:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: JOKE OF THE DAY |
Just been offered a job as a Noise Pollution Officer... But I had to turn it down. |
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| Author: | dollyman [ Tue Nov 10, 2020 10:13 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: JOKE OF THE DAY |
Can’t believe I got fired on my very first day as a signwirter. |
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| Author: | Carledo [ Tue Nov 10, 2020 9:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: JOKE OF THE DAY |
Quote:
Can’t believe I got fired on my very first day as a signwirter.
I got fired my first day as a tattoo artist for the same reseon!Steve |
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| Author: | soe8m [ Wed Nov 11, 2020 7:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: JOKE OF THE DAY |
Three men walked into a pub. Those were the days.. |
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| Author: | dollyman [ Tue Nov 17, 2020 1:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: JOKE OF THE DAY |
I won a ticket to a celebrity livestock auction not long ago, anyway I bought a lovely little lamb as a pet for my daughter. As I was looking around with it under my arm I couldn't believe I saw Boris Johnson talking to Joaquin Phoenix, turned out to be quite sociable chaps so I pushed my luck and asked for a picture to which they agreed. I couldn't believe it, there I was, clown to the left of me, joker to the right, there I was stuck in the middle with ewe. |
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| Author: | dollyman [ Fri Nov 20, 2020 1:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: JOKE OF THE DAY |
BBC: Instead of culling or changing anything that might slightly offend anyone, why not cull the thing that offends everyone? The licence. |
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| Author: | dollyman [ Sat Dec 05, 2020 10:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: JOKE OF THE DAY |
I asked the estate agent if he had any bungalows in my price range. He said he only had houses. But that's another story. |
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| Author: | dollyman [ Sun Dec 13, 2020 2:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: JOKE OF THE DAY |
My new stopwatch is brilliant, it can go from 0-60 in a minute. |
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| Author: | dollyman [ Thu Dec 17, 2020 1:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: JOKE OF THE DAY |
N V B K I T H E K L O P F I N V E N T O R Z S F O F T H E E F G H J I O L P L Y Q W O R D S E A R C H H A S J P O D I E D G W |
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| Author: | dollyman [ Sat Dec 19, 2020 2:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: JOKE OF THE DAY |
There wasn't this much fuss when Pfizer marketed Viagra was there? Although a of of women took it very hard. |
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| Author: | dollyman [ Tue Dec 29, 2020 2:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: JOKE OF THE DAY |
I offered Bonnie Tyler a Quality Street earlier but she declined. She said she was holding out for a Hero. |
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