Stupiest thing you have done fixing a car

[cleverusername]

I have rebuilding a Sprint engine, and I need to clear out the oil ways. The Heynes manual says you can use compressed air, well that sounds easier, and I have a compressor.

So I wacked the compressor up 4 bar, attached the blow out tool and stood directly in front of the block, and I think you can guess what happened next. A geyser of old oil fired out of the block and hit me. Covering me from top to bottom.

So what dumb things have you done mending things?

[Galileo]

Well that was that one time that I changed the taps and forgot to put the olives on and didn't find out until the next day, when the owner of the flat underneath knocked on the door and said water was flooding out of all of her living room light and plug sockets. And then there was the time I was doing some soldering at home, put the iron down on the floor, forgot about it and then trod on it with bare feet, then again I also stapled my thumb with a staple gun. Oh, and there was that time at work when I lifted a floor tile to get to some cabling, forgot that it was under one of the wheels of the server cabinet, opened the door which shifted the weight balance, and I then had to try and hold an entire rack with my shoulder whilst trying to get the tile back under in a tiny room whilst lying across the top of a smaller cabinet.

Actually, thinking about it there is not enough space on this forum to provide my full litany of misdeeds and general rank stupidity!

[GTS290N]

So, so many.
One of them, some decades ago - in a dental hygienist training facilty, 2nd floor of the building, servicing a dental unit. I'm just about to finish when I thought I noticed a bit of movement on the main water feed pipe. A little wiggle, and the pipe let go!
There was no-one around, I'm trying to hold the pipe on to prevent a flood into the facility downstairs which had lots of expensive equipment. Eventually the boss downstairs heard my cries for help, took a look, grinned, and turned off the stop cock right next to my right hand.
By the time I go back to the crew room the team were ready with swimming actions, snorkels, the lot.

And then there was the time I drilled through an electrical box - it was still live - and took out the entire x-ray department.

[Tamworthbay]

The most embarrassing one was while working on my old 3.0 Capri, I was replacing bulbs on the dash and had disconnected the oil pressure feed to move the dash cluster forward, I decided to check the bulbs all work so fired up the engine without reconnecting the oil feed pipe and got a face full of oil.

[Galileo]

Hmmm, now thinking of massive car f*ckups, I was doing some rejetting of some kind on a mates Pierburg carb in an old Vauxhall something or other shed. Finished fitting everything back on, jumped into the car to give it a start. I'd got something very wrong for one of the jets was spraying the air filter, the engine backfired, the air filter caught fire, the air box exploded, and the oil covered bonnet sound deadening joined in the merry blaze. I was happily oblivious to this for some time as my mate was just standing there not making a sound other than pointing at the engine with his mouth open...

Perhaps I shouldn't have admitted this..!

[Tamworthbay]

That has reminded me of how me and my first fiancée parted company, another Capri but a 2.0GL this time, I thought the second throttle butterfly was sticking so got her to look down the carb as I revved the engine. The real fault was a blown head gasket between two of the cylinders which allowed a big flame up through the inlet manifold and straight out. She wasn't hurt but did have to draw on eyebrows for a few weeks. The relationship seems to go down hill a bit after that...........

[Mahesh]

Checked HT misfire on a mates Sierra with my finger,
he was revving away with a smile on his face

[geeksteve]

Changing the speedo cable on a friends VW Caddy. There is a bolt that holds the cable into the top of the box. I said jokingly "I'd look like a right tw*t if I dropped this in the box...

Plop..

[Carledo]

As an apprentice in 1970, I was told to jack up this Ford Consul Classic. So I slide the trolley jack under and pump away. By the time I notice that the car is not lifting, the front wheels have gone from parallel to being at 45 degrees from each other. I had put the jack under the draglink instead of the crossmember! OOPS!

Steve

[Carledo]

Checked HT misfire on a mates Sierra with my finger,
he was revving away with a smile on his face

After I finished my apprenticeship, I went to work for a small local VW specialist (these were the days when you couldn't BUY a watercooled VW)
The owner was an ancient and eccentric Polish gent who used to stick a finger up a plug lead whilst someone spun the engine over to check for spark. You could not tell from looking at him what the result was, but had to wait for his pronouncement "All OK" or " you haf no sparks, go to stores and get a pound off new sparks"

Steve

[marko]

To solve the problem of a weak springs in the front of my first Spitfire when I was 18 and skint, I jacked it up then cable tied a couple of bits of wood between some of the coils. It worked a treat until I could afford new shocks .and springs.

[trackerjack]

I lived in Devon for a few years and had a sloping drive in which my sprint sat with its tow bar and I was working on the wife's Rover and I jacked it up at the rear which meant the handbraked wheels were in the air! It slid down the drive and into the sprints tow bar putting a nice depression in the Rovers bumper, whoops.