JOKE OF THE DAY

[dollyman]

My dad suggested I register for an organ donor card....

He's a man after my own heart.

[MIG Wielder]

Father : " Have you seen today's newspaper, my son ? "

Son : " Nahhh Dad; nobody reads newspapers these days. Here, try my i-Pad. "

That fly never knew what hit it !

[dollyman]

I walked into the greengrocers this morning and said: "I want to buy every onion that you've got in the shop."
"Every onion?"
"Yes, every onion."
So the greengrocer weighed out all of the onions and asked, "Will there be anything else, sir?"
I replied, "Is that every onion?"
"Yes sir, see for yourself, the shelf is bare."
"What about in the back? Have you got any more onions in the back?"
"I expect so. I don't usually put all my produce out in one go."
"Fetch all the onions. I want to buy every onion that you've got."
"I've got quite a lot of onions in the back, are you sure you want all of them?"
"Every onion. I want to buy every onion."
So the greengrocer goes into the back and returns with two huge bags of onions. The bags are already pre-weighed so he simply asks, "Will there be anything else, sir?"
"Is that every onion that you've got?"
"Yes sir, I've emptied the shelves in the shop and my stock room out back. I've got no more onions. You've got all my onions here."
"What about red onions?"
"You want some red onions too?"
"No, I want ALL of your onions. Including the red onions."
So the greengrocer clears his shelves of red onions too. "Did you want all of the red onions from the stock room too?"
"Yes please. I want every onion that you've got."
So the greengrocer fetches a massive bag of red onions from the stock room. "Will that be all now, sir? You've got all of my white onions and all of my red onions. I have no more onions."
"What about salad onions? Spring onions? Pickled onions? Chives?"
"Well, we don't have any pickled onions. I only sell fresh produce. Did you want all of the small onions, too? What about leeks? They are related to onions."
"No. Just onions, thanks. I want every onion that you've got in the shop."
"Chives aren't technically an onion?"
"Then leave the chives and just get me every onion - and I mean EVERY onion - that you've got in the shop."
So the greengrocer clears the shelves of salad onions, spring onions and scallions and empties the stockroom. He even pulls out a handful of wild onions from a section of the shop dedicated to foraging. "That's it, sir. That's everything."
"You definitely haven't got any more onions in the shop?"
And the greengrocer replies....

"That shallot."

[MIG Wielder]

I've just been advised that the AA will still come out to rescue broken down electric cars.
However if you have a small electric car you will need the AAA.