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Re: Off Topic

Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 10:57 pm
by Martian
Wobble...Wubble...Flob

Re: Off Topic

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 8:12 am
by Pauldaf44
The coldest snap of the winter so far is when the boiler decides to pack up

Re: Off Topic

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 1:54 pm
by NickMorgan
What is the difference between sending a small parcel 1st class or "Guaranteed by 1o'clock tomorrow". I know that one of the answers is £3.35! :?

Re: Off Topic

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 2:05 pm
by JPB
[brief on-topic excursion]
NickMorgan wrote:What is the difference between sending a small parcel 1st class or "Guaranteed by 1o'clock tomorrow". I know that one of the answers is £3.35! :?
Special Delivery (Guaranteed before 1 the following day) is trackable, which is important for sending eBay stuff as it prevents people from making false chargeback claims via paypal. :wink: [/sorry, as you were...]

Re: Off Topic

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 2:20 pm
by Oli_88
"Ooh I know!" He says, "I'll order myself a brake pipe flaring kit, that'll be useful!"
Buys the only one he can currently afford, it arrives in the post a day later.
"Hmm, I've never used one of these before, lets look on Youtube at how to use it properly, before I cock it up."
Upon watching the video he notices some little black round things called dies being put in the pipe...
"I didn't see any of those in there..."
He goes and checks, nope, there wasn't any.
"I've just bought a paperweight, fantastic."

Guess who is now very annoyed?

Re: Off Topic

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 10:14 pm
by Lord Tolly
Must be cold outside

a Polar bear just bit my backside :lol:

Re: Off Topic

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:40 pm
by Spunkymonkey
Sheila lost the circlip out of her brake master today and is now dribbling fluid into the footwell. Bugger!

Re: Off Topic

Posted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 4:24 pm
by tinweevil
Here in Qatar diesel cost 0.7 Riyals per litre. Click here to convert that to GBP if you are feeling strong.

Re: Off Topic

Posted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 9:02 pm
by Spunkymonkey
All people in Quatar should be shot. This is not a racist statement, merely an economic truth :twisted:

Re: Off Topic

Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 8:47 am
by Pauldaf44
Oops I just discovered the major flaw of a choke that can only be put on from under the bonnet.

Bruce is completly immobile untill the snow melts and it thaws enough to release the bonnet that is frozen shut. Now if I fire it up that wont take long but I cant fire it up because I cant open the bonnet :lol:

Re: Off Topic

Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 11:27 am
by Pauldaf44
Today is not a good day. I am really having to fight the desire to take every tablet in the medicine cabinet!!

Re: Off Topic

Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 4:34 pm
by NickMorgan
Day off work today. Roll on more snow!!!

Re: Off Topic

Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 9:51 pm
by SprintMWU773V
Why did I think it was a good idea to use Facebook for work? Now I'm being asked by everyone I went to school with to be their friend, well friends where have you been for the last 13 years I ask?

Re: Off Topic

Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 4:31 pm
by Purplebargeken
Sat my first summative legal exam (mental health law) this morning. Fingers crossed. Pass level is 80% - :shock:

Tomorrow is the 2nd legal test on the Code of Practice - pass mark again 80%.

On the home run now!

Re: Off Topic

Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2010 11:04 am
by Martian
Amphibolies
------------------

Amphibolies are syntactically ambiguous, meaning you can read them in more than one way....

Drunk gets nine months in violin case

Farmer bill dies in house

Iraqi head seeks arms

Prostitutes appeal to law

Lung cancer in women mushrooms

Teacher strikes idle kids

Enraged cow injures farmer with Axe

Miners refuse to work after death

Stolen painting found by tree

Two sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter

Never withhold herpes infection from loved one

Kids make nutritious snacks

Worcester residents can drop off trees

Local high school dropouts cut in half

Hospital sued by seven foot doctors

New vaccine may contain rabies

Include your children when baking biscuits