Brain donor
Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 12:45 pm
Driving to work yesterday I rounded a corner and saw a set of flashing lights ahead. About 300 yards of dead straight and flat road ahead. I could see it was hazard lights so I slowed up. There on the grass verge one side just into the hedge was a Pigout 306 or some such euro crap hatchback. The lights were still on so assuming it was a recent event I pulled up to see if they were OK. Sure enough the driver was still in it and promptly he jumped out, 'Are you OK?' I asked. From there things went downhill.
'I've managed to get it on the grass' he says displaying his complete understanding of the blindingly obvious. 'Can you give me a push?' he asks. Now I'm not the biggest bloke in the world, far from, which fair enough he wouldn't have been able to see. What I could see was that it'd take 3 or 4 prop forwards to get it out of the ditch the left side wheels were in. 'I don't think I'll come close to pushing that' I said. 'Could you give it a nudge with your car?'. 'Er No'. 'It'd only take a little nudge'. It would take a bloody big nudge if I could get in the ideal position, in the middle of that hedge - 'No. Are you alright?'. 'Oh go on, just a little nugde'. 'No. Now, are you OK and do you have a phone?'. 'Oh go on'. 'Bye'.
So there I left him at 06:00 in the morning, 4 miles from the nearest phone. Christ knows what level of incompetence it took to park there. There were floods that morning, but not there. He'd travelled 300 yards plus since the last corner and had another 100 to the next. What a nimrod. It's both amazing and a shame for humanity that people that dumb remember to breathe.
Tinweevil
'I've managed to get it on the grass' he says displaying his complete understanding of the blindingly obvious. 'Can you give me a push?' he asks. Now I'm not the biggest bloke in the world, far from, which fair enough he wouldn't have been able to see. What I could see was that it'd take 3 or 4 prop forwards to get it out of the ditch the left side wheels were in. 'I don't think I'll come close to pushing that' I said. 'Could you give it a nudge with your car?'. 'Er No'. 'It'd only take a little nudge'. It would take a bloody big nudge if I could get in the ideal position, in the middle of that hedge - 'No. Are you alright?'. 'Oh go on, just a little nugde'. 'No. Now, are you OK and do you have a phone?'. 'Oh go on'. 'Bye'.
So there I left him at 06:00 in the morning, 4 miles from the nearest phone. Christ knows what level of incompetence it took to park there. There were floods that morning, but not there. He'd travelled 300 yards plus since the last corner and had another 100 to the next. What a nimrod. It's both amazing and a shame for humanity that people that dumb remember to breathe.
Tinweevil
