Call me cynical...

Message

george · #16 Post by **george** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 3:01 pm

at least steven hawkin has an awsome mind one you can only admire as for twp s*ags at least there is hope for everybody ... i'd guess it's the power trip that they go for it's certainly not looks perhaps it was her boyfriend who threw eggs at him the day when he thought he was lenox lewis

SprintMWU773V · #17 Post by **SprintMWU773V** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 9:03 pm

Seem to remember at school I asked my commie Sociology teacher (what a waste of time studying that was, why, why, why???) why taxing the poor to encourage them to get better jobs was such a bad idea. After flicking through one of her many Communist today publications she said it was silly idea. Maybe it has got some mileage for the future though. 
 
On a more sensible note I did hear that the Polish government is now taxing income earned outside of Poland so effectively all the brickies working here for peanuts get taxed twice. The idea being that they hope they won't leave for the UK.

redrichie · #18 Post by **redrichie** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 11:44 pm

Yes, it's true about the Poles being taxed twice. I heard it on Radio 2 (so it must be Gospel <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/roll.gif ALT=":rollin"> ). There was a Polish girl speaking on there, and she freely admitted that she would work for less, and pay the taxes, because people in this country don't want to do it. 
 
Well, if I were about to employ an au pair, would I take on the girl with good manners, who spoke good english, and could teach my children about other countries and cultures, or would I take on the snotty nosed Kappa wearing, skived education, 40 a day white lightning non-english speaker from round the corner.... 
 
Come on guys, you know the punchline... 
 
"Go for the 40DD, every time....." 
 
<img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/devil.gif ALT=":evil">

dollybird72 · #19 Post by **dollybird72** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 2:35 pm

Shame on you! <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/embarassed.gif ALT=":o"> 
 
If women viewed men in the same light with their equivalent body part, a number of them would be unemployable! <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/wink.gif ALT=";)"> 
 
This leads me to a joke: - 
 
Subject: Fw: A matter of speaking 
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?" 
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!" 
With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down. Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" 
Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!" 
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?" 
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye." 
Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: 
* one, you have a dirty mind; 
* two, you didn't read your homework and... 
* three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed." 
 
<img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/roll.gif ALT=":rollin"> <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/roll.gif ALT=":rollin"> <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/roll.gif ALT=":rollin"> <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/roll.gif ALT=":rollin"> <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/roll.gif ALT=":rollin"> <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/roll.gif ALT=":rollin"> <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/roll.gif ALT=":rollin"> 

Edited by: <A HREF=http://p206.ezboard.com/bthetriumphdolo ... ybird72</A> at: 28/4/06 3:06 pm

The Independant · #20 Post by **The Independant** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 2:48 pm

Not every organ is big enough to play in the Albert Hall..

dollybird72 · #21 Post by **dollybird72** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 3:10 pm

That's a bit below the belt isn't it? (No pun intended)! 
 
I'd like to think of myself more as an am-dram's tiny room in a church hall! <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/laugh.gif ALT=":lol"> 
 
No offence meant to any members of the male species: Just generalising like you men folk do!

Carsreunited · #22 Post by **Carsreunited** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 3:50 pm

Women tend to spend alot of time trying to think outside the box, whilst men are constantly trying to find ways of getting in the box.......

SMIFTER · #23 Post by **SMIFTER** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 8:04 pm

How did we get from political disasters to knob gags? 
 
Mines big enough to fill a pram<img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/wink.gif ALT=";)"> 
 
And as for comments from women about my gut, you need a big hammer for a big nail<img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/wink.gif ALT=";)"> 
 
But the harsh truth is when you hear the comment 'that looks just like a knob - but smaller'. 
 
Plenty more knob gags to come (oo-er) if thats the route this thread is going.

MalcGE · #24 Post by **MalcGE** » Sat Apr 29, 2006 9:31 am

If you going to go out, you might as well do so with a Bang 
 
After all, there are several ways out 
 
Two Jags to Two S*ags 
A Toe Job to No Job 
A stiff drink to help it down the Sink 
 
But to stay in, wasn't there something about a good smoke doesn't mean no hope, or perhaps it wasn't smoking, well not cogars anyway <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/wink.gif ALT=";)">

Jon Tilson · #25 Post by **Jon Tilson** » Sat Apr 29, 2006 7:10 pm

Tis a sad state of affairs when someone gets paid 100k for selling her story having basically commited adultery, which wasnt so long ago a criminal offence, and ought really still to be. 
 
After all...what more valuable thing do you have than your marriage...? 
 
Jonners

dollybird72 · #26 Post by **dollybird72** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 12:26 am

Jonners 
 
Having read <blockquote>Quote:<hr>commited adultery, which wasnt so long ago a criminal offence, and ought really still to be.<hr></blockquote>, you have seriously gone up in my estimations! 
 
I am afraid that in this fast-living, throw-away society we find ourselves in, everything seems to be easy come easy go. No one seems to want to stick at things once they hit a hurdle and seems far easier to start again. I think the days of people staying married and faithful to each other will soon be an all too distant memory - very sad IMHO.<img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/frown.gif ALT=":("> 
 
In some countries they still 'stone' people in public if they commit adultery. Whilst I would not like us to be so uncivilized in the UK, it's a pity adultery wasn't still against the law of the land. 
 
As for whoever asked how did we go from discussing political disastersr to 'nob' (sp?) jokes; that is quite an easy one: John Prescott is a nob! 
 
Susie <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/laugh.gif ALT=":lol">

Edited by: <A HREF=http://p206.ezboard.com/bthetriumphdolo ... ybird72</A> at: 30/4/06 12:27 am

alun n · #27 Post by **alun n** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 1:10 pm

Ah but Susie, women aren't allowed at stonings! 
 
"Psst, beard madam?" 
 
"Wan't a few stones Sir?" 
 
"No thankyou. They've got a lot up there, lying around on the ground." 
 
"Not like these, sir...look at that...feel the quality of this...that's craftmanship, sir." 
 
"Alright, we'll have two with points and a big flat one...and a packet of gravel" 
 
 
A divorce lawyer (woman) talking on the radio the other day was trying to claim 75% of married men are having or have had an affair, compared to 40% of women. (This either means there are lots of women having two affairs or more at the same time or there is a good supply of divorced/single women with low morals). 
 
A psychologist was then quoted as saying women are more 'successful' at it and less likely to get caught because women in general are far more likely to lie for their friends and create cast iron alibis. Women will engage in an affair with far less compunction or forethought than a man will. Men apparently do it, but only after a lot of soul seeking, feel guilty and then confess, hence the apparent disparity of statistics. 
 
Either way, the statistics (which I cannot believe are accurate) are a shocking inditement on our 'society'. 
 
A final one from the psychologist was that the worst words a woman can hear from her man who has strayed are... 
 
"It didn't mean anything" 
 
I found this puzzling...would a woman rather hear that it HAD meant something???

Silvery · #28 Post by **Silvery** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 1:31 pm

"...or there is a good supply of divorced/single women with low morals" 
 
I've looked high and low, and I can't find any round here <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/frown.gif ALT=":(">

Jon Tilson · #29 Post by **Jon Tilson** » Mon May 01, 2006 12:09 pm

There are all kinds of reasons for the increase in divorce rate but I reckon the main one is this... 
 
People no longer think they will have to account for their behaviour and that can get away with it... 
 
From Prezza to the council estate chav...its all the same. 
 
Those of us that know differently try to live differently and reap the benefits. After all its always best to follow the maker's instructions. 
 
At the end of the day its very difficult to force morality on people by legislation...and impossible while people dont have a common view of what is right and wrong. 
 
But I still cant understand why its okay to steal someones promised life partner but isnt okay to nick a tin of beans from a supermarket or break the (often stupidly low) speed limit. 
 
Jonners

Silvery · #30 Post by **Silvery** » Mon May 01, 2006 1:23 pm

Could it be because a can of beans doesn't have independance, and therefore can't choose who takes it home? 
 
Also, I'm sure the reason I'm single has as much if not more to do with my own failings than being a vitim of "theft". But of course it's easier to look at yourself in the mirror if you blame it all on that bitch/ bastard and the slimy bitch/ bastard that stole them away from you...

The Triumph Dolomite Club - EzBoard Archive

Call me cynical...

two s*ags

taxes

taxes

Richie

^

Re: Albert Hall

Re: Albert Hall

Size Matters

I Suppose

Sad Reflection...

Re: Sad Reflection...

Re: Sad Reflection...

If Only

Day of reckoning...

Tango

Who is online