The Triumph Dolomite Club - Discussion Forum

The Number One Club for owners of Triumph's range of small saloons from the 1960s and 1970s.
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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted:Thu Jun 10, 2021 12:54 pm 
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TDC Cheshire Area Organiser

Joined:Wed May 17, 2017 5:28 pm
Posts:1311
Location:NANTWICH.
STAY AWAY FROM TEIGNMOUTH SEAFRONT
Witnessed totally disgusting behavior on the beach at Teignmouth seafront yesterday. A man and woman arguing in front of a load of kids then she smacked him once on the head and it all kicked off between them, the police turned up and the policeman ended up using his baton on the bloke but the man actually managed to get the baton off the copper and started hitting the copper and the woman with it.
Then a crocodile turned up and stole all the sausages as the man shouted 'Thats the way to do it'!..........

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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted:Thu Jun 10, 2021 7:13 pm 
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Joined:Mon Dec 12, 2016 9:53 pm
Posts:1213
Location:Harrow Middlesex
Quote:
STAY AWAY FROM TEIGNMOUTH SEAFRONT
Witnessed totally disgusting behavior on the beach at Teignmouth seafront yesterday. A man and woman arguing in front of a load of kids then she smacked him once on the head and it all kicked off between them, the police turned up and the policeman ended up using his baton on the bloke but the man actually managed to get the baton off the copper and started hitting the copper and the woman with it.
Then a crocodile turned up and stole all the sausages as the man shouted 'Thats the way to do it'!..........
That ones so bad :D :D :D :D :D


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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted:Fri Jun 11, 2021 9:22 am 
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TDC Cheshire Area Organiser

Joined:Wed May 17, 2017 5:28 pm
Posts:1311
Location:NANTWICH.
I was eating an ice-cream in town yesterday when I noticed a lad with a bright green mohican and Sex Pistols tattoos about to go into the bookies. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity, so I shouted at him to stop. When he looked round, I pointed my Magnum at him and said, "You've got to ask yourself one question... Do you feel lucky, punk?"

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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted:Sat Jun 26, 2021 6:26 pm 
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TDC Cheshire Area Organiser

Joined:Wed May 17, 2017 5:28 pm
Posts:1311
Location:NANTWICH.
I watched a street entertainer contort his whole body into a small suitcase and asked him if he could teach me how to do it.
He's going to try and squeeze me in on Monday.

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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted:Mon Jun 28, 2021 10:41 am 
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TDC Cheshire Area Organiser

Joined:Wed May 17, 2017 5:28 pm
Posts:1311
Location:NANTWICH.
A bloke knocked on my door this morning asking if i'd be interested in climbing Everest for charity. An hour later there was someone else selling ice cubes followed by a guy offering cheap chest freezers. Then a women came up and said she had some great deals on skiing holidays. Bloody cold callers ruined my morning.

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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted:Tue Jun 29, 2021 3:30 pm 
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TDC Cheshire Area Organiser

Joined:Wed May 17, 2017 5:28 pm
Posts:1311
Location:NANTWICH.
I've been trying to get loads done this morning but I've just been going round in circles.

Bloody steering wheel's locked again.

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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted:Fri Jul 02, 2021 12:58 pm 
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TDC Cheshire Area Organiser

Joined:Wed May 17, 2017 5:28 pm
Posts:1311
Location:NANTWICH.
I was walking past a building site when a bucket full of plaster fell on someone.

Poor bloke was rendered unconscious.

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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted:Fri Jul 09, 2021 9:12 pm 
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Joined:Sun Mar 16, 2008 2:52 pm
Posts:2206
Bloke is on holiday in Scotland and naturally visits some of the old historic castles and houses.
He gets a guided tour around the first one and is most impressed with his knowledge and history.
At the end of the tour he asks the tour guide…
" Do you ever see any ghosts here. It's quite spooky in some of those rooms"
" No " replies the guide, " " There aren't any ghosts around here."
" That's good said the visitor. "
"By the way, how long have you been doing this job" he asks.
"About 300 years " was the reply.


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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted:Sun Jul 18, 2021 9:09 am 
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TDC Cheshire Area Organiser

Joined:Wed May 17, 2017 5:28 pm
Posts:1311
Location:NANTWICH.
I got a book at the charity shop titled ‘A Guide to Surgical Procedures’.

I opened it up and the appendix was missing.

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 Post subject: Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
PostPosted:Sun Jul 18, 2021 11:19 am 
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Joined:Tue Oct 03, 2006 4:48 pm
Posts:8251
Location:Winscombe, North Somerset, England
Quote:
I got a book at the charity shop titled ‘A Guide to Surgical Procedures’.

I opened it up and the appendix was missing.
:lol:

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