DVLA LETTER BOMB EXPLAINED
© 2007. Sniff Petrol every month. Next issue 9 March
Written by Sniff Petrol, with thanks to JB
When a letter bomb exploded at the DVLA in Swansea last week it was quickly assumed to be part of a wave of incendiary attacks on motoring-related targets. However, it now seems that the attack has nothing to do with recent campaign against government agencies and was in fact an old bomb from 1994 which was still being processed by the DVLA's registrations department.
"This package was going through our fast track processing network," admitted a DVLA spokesman to Sniff Petrol today. "So it probably was received at least 13 years ago. In fact, it should have exploded a while ago but unfortunately the sender wanted to transfer a private registration off another bomb and that meant we had to send the bomb back twice because he'd forgotten to fill out the correct form, and then there was no cheque in with the bomb, all of which added delays".
Swansea insiders say that once the correct paperwork was received, the bomb was placed in their high speed processing system which, under new DVLA guidelines, promises to process your request 'before our Lord Jesus Christ walks on earth again (may take longer around Christmas and busy periods)'. "If the letter bomb exploded in the fast track system last week that means it was probably received back here in about 1999," said another DVLA naspokesm. "Let this be a reminder to anyone wanting to commit minor acts of terrorism against incompetent branches of the civil service: Please do get your bombs in early".
Meanwhile, the hunt for the perpetrators of recent transport related letter bomb attacks in London and Berkshire continues. "We believe these attacks were committed by a motorist who has grown sick and tired of this government's ludicrous, knee jerk, super tax based road transport policy," said a police spokesman. "And we hope to start interviewing all 25 million suspects shortly".
DVLA letter bomb explained
- Ian Wilkes
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