Off Topic

[1300dolly]

I bought a one peice quilted waterproof suit today in a fetching two tone orange/ blue with reflective stripes on it, should come in handy on cold early morning call outs.

(passed my HiAB course today as well)

[Nick C]

Today I had a big box full on off shiny new car parts delivered. No prize for guessing what im doing tomorrow

[on topic]
Sending it back in the hope they'll send the right bits next time?
[/on topic]

There was a thick frost on everything here this morning. The world isn't getting warmer, it's just sucking all the heat out of Basingstoke...

[Pauldaf44]

I would quite like to attach the children that keep ripping bits of my car to the back bumper and drag them down the A482 on their faces!!

[1300dolly]

Yummm, sheppards pie for dinner tonight

[Spunkymonkey]

After 3 half-days of cutting, tin bending and welding, our local farrier has an intact sill on the o/s of his Transit again. To save me doing the n/s (which was worse), I wonder if you can get a "one side only" MOT (a bit like a "daylight" one) where he can use it as long as all the load is on that side?

[Purplebargeken]

Came to open up the Scout hut tonight, walked into the hall to find the rear fire exit had been mullered open and first aid kits all scattered around. The kitchen had been rifled through but nothing stolen. The fire exit door had been left wide open to the elements and whoever else fancied a look inside. Methinks thieving junkie b*stards.

[1300dolly]

Its hot and sunny in Cyprus during the daytime and warm at night.

[Martian]

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

[NickMorgan]

Oh no! The gritting lorry was out last night, so the roads are all covered in salt. That's two mornings so far that I have had to scrape the ice off my car windscreen already. I was going to book the TR in for its MOT this week, but I'm not going to drive it in the salt! Doh! That means that I will have to SORN it at the end of January until the roads are clean again.

[2Toledos]

My little girl has finally gone to sleep. Can I relax, now ?

[Martian]

Last year I got cold hard cash for Christmas......£5.00 frozen in a block of ice.....I wonder what I'll get this year?

[1300dolly]

My computer desk looks so empty now!

[Martian]

Some lateral thinking exercises.....if you fancy a brain work-out


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1. There is a man who lives on the top floor of a very tall
building. Everyday he gets the elevator down to the ground floor
to leave the building to go to work.

Upon returning from work though, he can only travel half way up in
the lift and has to walk the rest of the way unless it's raining!
Why?
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2. A man and his son are in a car accident. The father dies on the
scene, but the child is rushed to the hospital. When he arrives
the surgeon says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son! "
How can this be?

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3. A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, lumper,
gloves and balaclava. He is walking down a black street with all
the street lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its
light off but somehow manages to stop in time.
How did the driver see the man?

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4. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square
ones?

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5. A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left
early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently
died of poisoning. Why did the man not die?

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6. A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of
water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The
man says 'Thank you' and walks out.

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Scroll down for the solutions.


































SOLUTIONS

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1. The man is very, very short and can only reach halfway up the
elevator buttons. However,if it is raining then he will have his
umbrella with him and can press the higher buttons with it.
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2. The surgeon was his mother.
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3. It was day time.
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4. A square manhole cover can be turned and dropped down the
diagonal of the manhole. A round manhole cannot be dropped down
the manhole. So for safety and practicality, all manhole covers
should be round.
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5. The poison in the punch came from the ice cubes. When the man
Drank the punch, the ice was fully frozen. Gradually it melted,
poisoning the punch.
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6. The man had hiccups. The barman recognized this from his speech
and drew the gun in order to give him a shock. It worked and cured
the hiccups-so the man no longer needed the water.

[matienzo]

£1 well spent

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[Spunkymonkey]

Hi HOOOOOOO!!!

Hi HOOOOOOOO!!!


Hi Ho, Hi HO, it's off for Daf we go.............