Off Topic

[Spunkymonkey]

Note to teenagers everywhere:

Throwing your laptop onto the floor in a temper tantrum, especially when it's running, will damage the hard drive.

Pretending nothing's wrong with it (when it's already been checked while you were out) then asking casually why the anti-virus software your mum put on it is updating in preparation for blaming that software for the failure (as it tries to recover itself with Startup Repair clearly visible on screen), will cause a row which is likely to leave you looking for less economic accommodation.

[Triumph1300]

I'm in Bilbao, it's about to rain.
Who said foreign business travel was glamorous?

[Reg]

Halfords rattle cans are very good indeed, never had a bad one..

[Pauldaf44]

I am in a good mood my car hasn't broken down in 3 weeks

[JPB]

73.4% of German school teachers have webbed toes.

[Nick C]

Come on, own up - Who turned the switch from "summer" to "winter"?

[Oli_88]

Aahhhh, Smug mode.

[2Toledos]

I sell an item on eBay - It goes for 99p (hey, ho; that's the way it goes sometimes) - It cost £1.58 to post - Buyer gets item... complains it doesn't work (which is BS because it was tested and working before I listed it) - Wants his money back - Sure, says me... Send it back if you're not happy with it - So he did - Cost him £1.58 to get his 99p back About as bright as a 2 Watt bulb in a power-cut !...

...So - I get it back; test it; and, sure enough, it works just fine - I relist it on eBay - This time it sells for £6.63 - Buyer is well chuffed - So am I

[Spunkymonkey]

Our (hopefully) new house is heated by an air source heat pump. Seeing as they sucks heat out of the outside air, if we run it hard enough can we make it snow in our back garden for Christmas????

[Purplebargeken]

Telling me that a jar of Piedmont Hazelnut/chocolate spread may contain traces of nuts is a bit stupid as that really was the main driving force behind the purchase in the first instance. Squirrel s##t may also contain traces of nuts but no fucker sticks a label on squirrels do they. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Note to head..... stop b'stard spinning!

[Spunkymonkey]

Boris here we come........

[marty dolomite]

The follow in way relates to any previous post on this thread.

Real labels.........
"Warning: Not for Human Consumption" - Bloodworms (frozen red mosquito larvae sold as food for tropical fish)

"Not Dishwasher Safe" - RCA Television Remote Control

"Avoid Collision" - On back of barge at Portsmouth Naval Shipyard

"Ignite lighter away from face." - Bic Lighter

Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." - On a birthday card for a 1 year old.

Okay thats enough.

[2Toledos]

Father-in-Law: Can you give me a hand for an hour or so, to fit our new patio doors ?
Me: Sure; be over shortly...

11 hours later; I get back home. Well, that takes care of Saturday !

[marty dolomite]

Just thought I would waste some money buying a couple of Aerosmith albums but having looked through their website it appears I already have all their UK released CD's so it looks as so I will be mostly buying Iron Maiden and Alice Cooper tonight.

[Reg]

Today in the garage, I am mostly listening to.. The Propellerheads-On Her Majesty's Secret Service..the nine minute version. Hell yeah!

John Barry was a genius.. =D>