Funny Reviews
Funny Reviews
Looking around for rat/mouse poison as a preventative measure in my new lock-up and came across this review on Screwfix:
Plumbing/Heating Engineer Reviewer
Would you recommend this product? Yes
Overall Rating
5 out of 5
Value
5 out of 5
Features
5 out of 5
Performance
5 out of 5
Reliability
5 out of 5
Fast and Effective
10 Dec 2016
By Mobby Wakefield
" I tried this product as a humane way to rid myself of a rat in the garage, as my wife threatened to put one of her roast dinners in there. I couldn't bear the thought of another living creature having to suffer like we do every Sunday. "
Plumbing/Heating Engineer Reviewer
Would you recommend this product? Yes
Overall Rating
5 out of 5
Value
5 out of 5
Features
5 out of 5
Performance
5 out of 5
Reliability
5 out of 5
Fast and Effective
10 Dec 2016
By Mobby Wakefield
" I tried this product as a humane way to rid myself of a rat in the garage, as my wife threatened to put one of her roast dinners in there. I couldn't bear the thought of another living creature having to suffer like we do every Sunday. "
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Re: Funny Reviews
People who deliberately put down rat poison must have rocks in their heads. The poison doesn't work instantly, it takes time to kill the rat, mouse, bird, toddler, cat or dog which eats it. If another creature such as a cat or dog eats the poisoned rat or mouse, it will also suffer a similarly lingering and painful death. Rats and mice only take up residence near to a food source. Remove the food source and the problem goes away. It's not rocket science.
Please note that I am simply a Forum administrator, so please do not contact me unless your question is regarding your Forum account. For general enquiries regarding the Club and its services (membership queries, questions about spares, lapdancing etc) please see https://forum.triumphdolomite.co.uk/vie ... hp?t=20098
Are you enjoying using our forum? If so why not support the owners club which provides it by joining The Triumph Dolomite Club? Help us to preserve these great cars for future generations.
Club membership costs just £30 for one year or £55 for two years. See https://forum.triumphdolomite.co.uk/vie ... =4&t=37824 for details.
Are you enjoying using our forum? If so why not support the owners club which provides it by joining The Triumph Dolomite Club? Help us to preserve these great cars for future generations.
Club membership costs just £30 for one year or £55 for two years. See https://forum.triumphdolomite.co.uk/vie ... =4&t=37824 for details.
- Toledo Man
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Re: Funny Reviews
The Screwfix link is HERE
THIS one is more humane. We had a mouse infestation on our previous house and the cat we had at the time was a hopeless mouser so we used a traditional mousetrap which worked fine.
THIS one is more humane. We had a mouse infestation on our previous house and the cat we had at the time was a hopeless mouser so we used a traditional mousetrap which worked fine.
Toledo Man
West Yorkshire Area Organiser
Meetings take place on the first Wednesday of the month at 8.00pm at The Railway, 1 Birstall Lane, Drighlington, Bradford, BD11 1JJ
2003 Volvo XC90 D5 SE (PX53 OVZ - The daily driver)
2009 Mercedes-Benz W204 C200 CDI Sport (BJ58 NCV - The 2nd car)
1991 Toyota Celica GT (J481 ONB - a project car)
Former stable of SAY 414M (1974 Toledo), GRH 244D (1966 1300fwd), CDB 324L (1973 1500fwd), GGN 573J (1971 1500fwd), DCP 625S (1977 Dolomite 1300) & LCG 367N (1975 Dolomite Sprint), NYE 751L (1972 Dolomite 1850 auto) plus 5 Acclaims and that's just the Triumphs!
Check my blog at http://triumphtoledo.blogspot.com
My YouTube Channel with a bit of Dolomite content.
"There is only one way to avoid criticsm: Do nothing, say nothing and BE nothing." Aristotle
West Yorkshire Area Organiser
Meetings take place on the first Wednesday of the month at 8.00pm at The Railway, 1 Birstall Lane, Drighlington, Bradford, BD11 1JJ
2003 Volvo XC90 D5 SE (PX53 OVZ - The daily driver)
2009 Mercedes-Benz W204 C200 CDI Sport (BJ58 NCV - The 2nd car)
1991 Toyota Celica GT (J481 ONB - a project car)
Former stable of SAY 414M (1974 Toledo), GRH 244D (1966 1300fwd), CDB 324L (1973 1500fwd), GGN 573J (1971 1500fwd), DCP 625S (1977 Dolomite 1300) & LCG 367N (1975 Dolomite Sprint), NYE 751L (1972 Dolomite 1850 auto) plus 5 Acclaims and that's just the Triumphs!
Check my blog at http://triumphtoledo.blogspot.com
My YouTube Channel with a bit of Dolomite content.
"There is only one way to avoid criticsm: Do nothing, say nothing and BE nothing." Aristotle
Re: Funny Reviews
GTS290N wrote:Looking around for rat/mouse poison as a preventative measure in my new lock-up and came across this review on Screwfix:
" I tried this product as a humane way to rid myself of a rat in the garage, as my wife threatened to put one of her roast dinners in there. I couldn't bear the thought of another living creature having to suffer like we do every Sunday. "

(I'll let others miss the point of your post!

Current fleet: '75 Sprint, '73 1850, Daihatsu Fourtrak, Honda CG125, Yamaha Fazer 600, Shetland 570 (yes it's a boat!)
Past fleet: Triumph 2000, Lancia Beta Coupe, BL Mini Clubman, Austin Metro, Vauxhall Cavalier MK1 & MK2, Renault 18 D, Rover 216 GSI, Honda Accord (most expensive car purchase, hated, made out of magnetic metal as only car I've ever been crashed into...4 times), BMW 318, Golf GTi MK3 16v x 3
Past fleet: Triumph 2000, Lancia Beta Coupe, BL Mini Clubman, Austin Metro, Vauxhall Cavalier MK1 & MK2, Renault 18 D, Rover 216 GSI, Honda Accord (most expensive car purchase, hated, made out of magnetic metal as only car I've ever been crashed into...4 times), BMW 318, Golf GTi MK3 16v x 3
Re: Funny Reviews
Well if we want to play games, this is from the Screwfix website Q&A:
"it is a poison so it is designed to kill and it doesn't differentiate between species. However it's effects depend on the size of the species in question and also the dose ingested. The active ingredient in this bait is Diffenacoum, a relatively low toxicity Second Generation Anticoagulant Rodenticide. Generally speaking the average amount required to kill a rat is 9mg / kilo of rat, whilst for mice, it is 4mg / kilo of mouse. For context, for dogs it is 1000mg / kilo, (ie, about a 100 times the amount needed to kill a rat) whilst for cats, its 2000mg / kilo. (ie, about a 200 times the amount needed to kill a rat). You can use this bait in conjunction with a mouse or rat bait station thus alleviating the chance of accidental ingestion"
So kill vermin, yes, do I care how they vermin dies, no, unlikely to kill dogs and toddlers even if ingested directly never mind from a mouse or rat that's crawled away to die, will it kill cats, who cares.
More games: I did a quick Google on children being killed by THIS TYPE of poison, nothing in the UK.
Strange really, that a place like screwfix is allowed to sell such a deadly child and pet killing toxin over the counter.
And why is it OK for another vermin, cats, to kill mice after after playing with them until they die of a heart attack? Is that humane?
OK, bored now, I must keep reminding myself not to post in this sub-forum. 10 posts in this forum in 5 days, it's not Facebook that's killing it.
"it is a poison so it is designed to kill and it doesn't differentiate between species. However it's effects depend on the size of the species in question and also the dose ingested. The active ingredient in this bait is Diffenacoum, a relatively low toxicity Second Generation Anticoagulant Rodenticide. Generally speaking the average amount required to kill a rat is 9mg / kilo of rat, whilst for mice, it is 4mg / kilo of mouse. For context, for dogs it is 1000mg / kilo, (ie, about a 100 times the amount needed to kill a rat) whilst for cats, its 2000mg / kilo. (ie, about a 200 times the amount needed to kill a rat). You can use this bait in conjunction with a mouse or rat bait station thus alleviating the chance of accidental ingestion"
So kill vermin, yes, do I care how they vermin dies, no, unlikely to kill dogs and toddlers even if ingested directly never mind from a mouse or rat that's crawled away to die, will it kill cats, who cares.
More games: I did a quick Google on children being killed by THIS TYPE of poison, nothing in the UK.
Strange really, that a place like screwfix is allowed to sell such a deadly child and pet killing toxin over the counter.
And why is it OK for another vermin, cats, to kill mice after after playing with them until they die of a heart attack? Is that humane?
OK, bored now, I must keep reminding myself not to post in this sub-forum. 10 posts in this forum in 5 days, it's not Facebook that's killing it.
Re: Funny Reviews
The poison I like is Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy. Not a natural but forgiven this time.
Jeroen
Jeroen
Classic Kabelboom Company. For all your wiring needs. http://www.classickabelboomcompany.com
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Re: Funny Reviews
Thats a real cuntish attitude.GTS290N wrote:will it kill cats, who cares.

Re: Funny Reviews
Cat lover triggered!
One of my work colleagues is the most law abiding uber religious person that wouldn't step on an ant, hates cats with a passion though, something to do with the entire streets worth of moggies poohing in his vegetable plot I gather, personally, I don't mind them if their owners keep them under control.
One of my work colleagues is the most law abiding uber religious person that wouldn't step on an ant, hates cats with a passion though, something to do with the entire streets worth of moggies poohing in his vegetable plot I gather, personally, I don't mind them if their owners keep them under control.
Current fleet: '75 Sprint, '73 1850, Daihatsu Fourtrak, Honda CG125, Yamaha Fazer 600, Shetland 570 (yes it's a boat!)
Past fleet: Triumph 2000, Lancia Beta Coupe, BL Mini Clubman, Austin Metro, Vauxhall Cavalier MK1 & MK2, Renault 18 D, Rover 216 GSI, Honda Accord (most expensive car purchase, hated, made out of magnetic metal as only car I've ever been crashed into...4 times), BMW 318, Golf GTi MK3 16v x 3
Past fleet: Triumph 2000, Lancia Beta Coupe, BL Mini Clubman, Austin Metro, Vauxhall Cavalier MK1 & MK2, Renault 18 D, Rover 216 GSI, Honda Accord (most expensive car purchase, hated, made out of magnetic metal as only car I've ever been crashed into...4 times), BMW 318, Golf GTi MK3 16v x 3
Re: Funny Reviews
PS. As to the forum or Facebook, that debate has been done to its death. So yeah, it can get a bit sanctimonious over here on the forum, but the trouble with the Facebook group is that most of them couldn't even spell sanctimonious, m8, innit.
Current fleet: '75 Sprint, '73 1850, Daihatsu Fourtrak, Honda CG125, Yamaha Fazer 600, Shetland 570 (yes it's a boat!)
Past fleet: Triumph 2000, Lancia Beta Coupe, BL Mini Clubman, Austin Metro, Vauxhall Cavalier MK1 & MK2, Renault 18 D, Rover 216 GSI, Honda Accord (most expensive car purchase, hated, made out of magnetic metal as only car I've ever been crashed into...4 times), BMW 318, Golf GTi MK3 16v x 3
Past fleet: Triumph 2000, Lancia Beta Coupe, BL Mini Clubman, Austin Metro, Vauxhall Cavalier MK1 & MK2, Renault 18 D, Rover 216 GSI, Honda Accord (most expensive car purchase, hated, made out of magnetic metal as only car I've ever been crashed into...4 times), BMW 318, Golf GTi MK3 16v x 3
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Re: Funny Reviews
I too am a cat person, though I will not resort to obscenity to defend it.Galileo wrote:Cat lover triggered!
One of my work colleagues is the most law abiding uber religious person that wouldn't step on an ant, hates cats with a passion though, something to do with the entire streets worth of moggies poohing in his vegetable plot I gather, personally, I don't mind them if their owners keep them under control.
I gather that you are not or you would not suggest that a cat be kept under control! You do not control a cat, the cat controls you!
Well known Sci fi author Robert Heinlein said "Women and cats will do as they please - and men and dogs should get used to it!"
Steve
'73 2 door Toledo with Vauxhall Carlton 2.0 8v engine (The Carledo)
'78 Sprint Auto with Vauxhall Omega 2.2 16v engine (The Dolomega)
'72 Triumph 1500FWD in Slate Grey, Now with RWD and Carledo powertrain!
Maverick Triumph, Servicing, Repairs, Electrical, Recomissioning, MOT prep, Trackerjack brake fitting service.
Apprentice served Triumph Specialist for 50 years. PM for more info or quotes.
'78 Sprint Auto with Vauxhall Omega 2.2 16v engine (The Dolomega)
'72 Triumph 1500FWD in Slate Grey, Now with RWD and Carledo powertrain!
Maverick Triumph, Servicing, Repairs, Electrical, Recomissioning, MOT prep, Trackerjack brake fitting service.
Apprentice served Triumph Specialist for 50 years. PM for more info or quotes.
Re: Funny Reviews
Yup, and I feed, water, clear litter trays and play with next doors cat Biscuit and Cincin the Black she devil with a wonky eye when they go off on holiday for a weekend or a week. When one of the little darlings started to come into my garden to dig up my plants and leave little surprise packages for me, I told next door who bought me a cat away device, so they kept their cats under control as far as I'm concerned.
The point to not overlook is that this was a humorous post that made me laugh until it was gatecrashed by party poopers and became a downer instead, which to be honest Steve is quite disappointing.
The point to not overlook is that this was a humorous post that made me laugh until it was gatecrashed by party poopers and became a downer instead, which to be honest Steve is quite disappointing.
Current fleet: '75 Sprint, '73 1850, Daihatsu Fourtrak, Honda CG125, Yamaha Fazer 600, Shetland 570 (yes it's a boat!)
Past fleet: Triumph 2000, Lancia Beta Coupe, BL Mini Clubman, Austin Metro, Vauxhall Cavalier MK1 & MK2, Renault 18 D, Rover 216 GSI, Honda Accord (most expensive car purchase, hated, made out of magnetic metal as only car I've ever been crashed into...4 times), BMW 318, Golf GTi MK3 16v x 3
Past fleet: Triumph 2000, Lancia Beta Coupe, BL Mini Clubman, Austin Metro, Vauxhall Cavalier MK1 & MK2, Renault 18 D, Rover 216 GSI, Honda Accord (most expensive car purchase, hated, made out of magnetic metal as only car I've ever been crashed into...4 times), BMW 318, Golf GTi MK3 16v x 3
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- TDC Shropshire Area Organiser
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- Location: Highley, Shropshire
Re: Funny Reviews
You're not wrong there!Galileo wrote:
The point to not overlook is that this was a humorous post that made me laugh until it was gatecrashed by party poopers and became a downer instead, which to be honest Steve is quite disappointing.
We have dogs on both sides so our cats don't wander much! But we still get left the odd "present" in the shape of dead birds and small rodents.
The only rats in our house are in the freezer, SWMBO feeds them to her Python!
Steve
'73 2 door Toledo with Vauxhall Carlton 2.0 8v engine (The Carledo)
'78 Sprint Auto with Vauxhall Omega 2.2 16v engine (The Dolomega)
'72 Triumph 1500FWD in Slate Grey, Now with RWD and Carledo powertrain!
Maverick Triumph, Servicing, Repairs, Electrical, Recomissioning, MOT prep, Trackerjack brake fitting service.
Apprentice served Triumph Specialist for 50 years. PM for more info or quotes.
'78 Sprint Auto with Vauxhall Omega 2.2 16v engine (The Dolomega)
'72 Triumph 1500FWD in Slate Grey, Now with RWD and Carledo powertrain!
Maverick Triumph, Servicing, Repairs, Electrical, Recomissioning, MOT prep, Trackerjack brake fitting service.
Apprentice served Triumph Specialist for 50 years. PM for more info or quotes.
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Re: Funny Reviews
On the contrary, the point not to be overlooked is that some people find humour in animal cruelty, whilst others do not. Simple as that.Galileo wrote:The point to not overlook is that this was a humorous post that made me laugh until it was gatecrashed by party poopers and became a downer instead, which to be honest Steve is quite disappointing.
Please note that I am simply a Forum administrator, so please do not contact me unless your question is regarding your Forum account. For general enquiries regarding the Club and its services (membership queries, questions about spares, lapdancing etc) please see https://forum.triumphdolomite.co.uk/vie ... hp?t=20098
Are you enjoying using our forum? If so why not support the owners club which provides it by joining The Triumph Dolomite Club? Help us to preserve these great cars for future generations.
Club membership costs just £30 for one year or £55 for two years. See https://forum.triumphdolomite.co.uk/vie ... =4&t=37824 for details.
Are you enjoying using our forum? If so why not support the owners club which provides it by joining The Triumph Dolomite Club? Help us to preserve these great cars for future generations.
Club membership costs just £30 for one year or £55 for two years. See https://forum.triumphdolomite.co.uk/vie ... =4&t=37824 for details.
Re: Funny Reviews
Well that's put me in my place hasn't it? Enjoy your forum, you can happily answer yourself all day long.
Current fleet: '75 Sprint, '73 1850, Daihatsu Fourtrak, Honda CG125, Yamaha Fazer 600, Shetland 570 (yes it's a boat!)
Past fleet: Triumph 2000, Lancia Beta Coupe, BL Mini Clubman, Austin Metro, Vauxhall Cavalier MK1 & MK2, Renault 18 D, Rover 216 GSI, Honda Accord (most expensive car purchase, hated, made out of magnetic metal as only car I've ever been crashed into...4 times), BMW 318, Golf GTi MK3 16v x 3
Past fleet: Triumph 2000, Lancia Beta Coupe, BL Mini Clubman, Austin Metro, Vauxhall Cavalier MK1 & MK2, Renault 18 D, Rover 216 GSI, Honda Accord (most expensive car purchase, hated, made out of magnetic metal as only car I've ever been crashed into...4 times), BMW 318, Golf GTi MK3 16v x 3
Re: Funny Reviews
I had a cat with one eye, until I realised it walked everywhere backwards.
That's the only worthy comment I can think of.
That's the only worthy comment I can think of.